С уважением,…

С уважением,…

Note: I am not re-opening this moribund blog. But I want to get this off my chest…..

It also seems to be common-wisdom that books are less offensive than the other types of media, because you don’t actually hear or see the offensive things. You read them. Personally, I’ve found that the mental images created from reading are much more powerful than what I watch visually.

But I also disagree on one point. And that’s that certain words are deemed more offensive than others, because that’s how society chooses to deem them.

Like you say, words are just words, but society attaches different levels of offensiveness to them. So while you, personally, might feel that the n-word is more offensive than the f-word, society as a whole does not see it that way (it may be misguided, but that’s how it is).

It’s not like there’s some objective level of “offensiveness.” Clearly, offensiveness is subjective, as you point out in the differences of your children’s behavior at home and in public.

Lastly, I have one suck-up comment to make … no books have made me want to write more than yours. You are a master of science fiction for kids. Unfortunately I’m too poor to buy Lies just yet, but I will as soon as I can.

I agree with you in this area. People need to stop looking for movies and games that raise their kids.
While I don’t agree with your stance on the use of obscenity, I do understand and respect it. The reason I don’t use things such as the F-Bomb is, well… Let’s just say they’re called ‘vulgarities’ for a reason, and it’s nothing I’d like to be associated with.
Nonetheless, I really appreciate your respectful response.
And I think Halo 2 needed a T-Rating from the ESRB, but that’s a different matter.
So what do you recommend? A new CSM founded on actual common sense? It would seem the old one is corrupt.

If my son says to my daughter, “F-ck you,” I have a problem with that. If he smashes his thumb and yells “F-ck!” I don’t really see the problem.

And I doubt that either of you, or Common Sense Media, can produce any objective, scientific evidence that cursing is harmful when not used in a malicious way. In other words, separating the “F-ck you!” from the “F-ck!” The anger, the hostility is a problem, not the word.

The reason I caution my children not to curse in public is not because I think there’s a problem with the language but because I know it bothers other people. I also tell them not to throw around, “God,” or “Jesus,” because I know it offends believers. I also caution them not to talk about money, or how many toys they have, because it might make someone else feel at a disadvantage.

But just because I teach them to have a certain delicacy for others’ feelings, doesn’t mean I think those feelings are valid. I also tell my kids not to deny the existence of Santa Claus around young kids. Doesn’t mean I believe in Santa Claus.

There are assumptions at work here, not facts. You assume certain words are taboo, but there’s no reason for the taboo. For me the greater crime by far would be to uncritically pass along to my children a set of unquestioned assumptions which have no basis in fact.

It is wrong and destructive to try and turn media into medicine. You want to know why boys don’t read? Because we hand them “good for you” books, deny them choice, trash their preferences and lose them as readers. As a writer it’s frustrating. As a society we should be upset that publishers have flatly given up even marketing books to teen boys. (That is not an exaggeration.) We have written off teen boy readers because what teen boys want to read isn’t what mommy wants them to read. Mommy wins, boys lose, and that’s apparently okay, so long as mom isn’t made uncomfortable. Meanwhile the boy goes to his friend’s house and plays Halo 2 for three hours rather than be “exposed” to a Stephen King novel or God forbid a comic.

Kick Ass was funny, imaginative, interesting and I am glad my kids saw it. Much happier than the latest Shrek dreck, or formula Disney pabulum.

Haha, the CAPTCHA (spam filter, n00bs) says “bravery forth”. Maybe it’s a sign I should start my own version of CSM, one more balanced…

Kids are definitely hurt by the media, which is made up of adults who don’t care one way or another what you or your children think. The media can come in the form of inappropriate programming that’s geared towards a particular age group (think of the Nickelodeon Teen Choice awards, which is watched by thousands of kids who are not even near the targeted audience). It can come in the form of advertising, especially with regards to women and how they are portrayed through body image. Impressionable teens will see something and automatically think “I need that. I need to look like that.” Adults are no exception, really.

Do you honestly think kids don’t already know those words? I personally think it’s a ridiculous thing to worry about. At home my kids have pretty free rein. I make them watch what they say outside the home because I realize it upsets people.

KIds are not hurt by media. They are hurt by abusive adults, by bullies, by situations beyond their control, by bad luck, by misfortunes of DNA or environment. Kids are hurt by the real world, not by words spoken by a comic book character.

Incidentally, after seeing Kick-Ass my daughter was exactly the same person she was before. She did not begin stabbing drug dealers. She went to soccer and aced a spelling test for the first time. Stop being afraid of media, media are not the problem.

You want to know what I think is a real world problem hurting kids? Piling four hours of homework on a 12 year-old. That’s abuse. That’s robbing a child of childhood. And we do that all the time and pretend it’s a good thing. In the guise of caring for children we are hammering them with pressure, depriving them of sleep, over-scheduling, over-parenting, demanding they work harder and longer than most adults.

I pulled my 12 year old (now 13) out of school because I thought it was an abusive environment. But I have no problem with him seeing Kick-Ass.

Our kids are already growing up fast enough as it is. Why are we as parents sometimes making it happen faster? *sigh*

Very well said.

It is good to hear from you on your blog.

–Chantal

The problem is that CSM doesn’t apply the standard rationally or honestly. Sometimes they judge by intention, and other times they don’t. Sometimes they make those differentiations, and other times they don’t. They are posing as disinterested when they aren’t, pretending to be objective when they aren’t.

If they want to be media critics let them do it openly an honestly and knock off this pretense of authority and objectivity. It’s philosophically absurd: judgment is always subjective. Let them climb down off their soapbox and admit what any real critic admits: it’s just an opinion, just one person’s opinion, no more or less valid than any other critic’s opinion.

They won’t do that, because they aren’t legitimate critics, they’re an interest group devoted to acquiring power over media, to directing the course of media without the need to have any actual talent. They are wrapping a single reviewer’s opinion in the aura of authority and positioning themselves as our little spirit guides through the world of media. It’s b.s.